Lots to do, but gotta bleed the excess off my mind or it'll blow out.

Stream of consciousness, go!

...don't know what I'm going to do for a summer job, need to find some kind of tutoring job, oh crap completely missed meeting with career counselor weeks ago, need to reschedule and update resume, maybe I should make several resumes with different emphasis, seems to be what monster.com and other sites recommend, geez so many of these are 10$/hr and you drive all over to god knows where paying for gas and wear and tear on the car, doesn't seem so efficient, I'd rather just find a nice cozy place like Learning Foundations and tutor there, I really liked the people there and liked working with those kids, even the ones with learning disabilities, maybe it was because I'd gone through the same thing? it's hard to reconcile that frustrated, extremely shy sixth grader with who i am today, would anyone now recognize me then? who do I think I'm kidding, I can't do this, I can't live away from my parents for a summer before grad school, I can't deal with a real job on my own, what if something else happens to my car? I'd need a job really close to wherever I end up living, though I did find a few close by within 5 miles, I could even bike that, that's not bad at all, would be nice to get the exercise, exercise, crap, didn't send uribe the emails for last week on pe 1 hours, didn't do much either and I'm feeling it, gotta DDR with sarah and brian this week for sure, shit forgot to call the riding instructor and schedule a lesson for us, need to do that soon, i miss my dog so much, i really want him around, what am I going to do about him when I graduate? what if I don't get into grad school? some of my friends have already gotten calls, I don't know what's supposed to happen, Sangeeta asked me, I don't know I don't know I don't know I AM TERRIFIED AND SCARED AND NO GRAD SCHOOL WANTS ME YET.

Yikes.

I don't want to waste the time I've spent here at tech. I also want to feel like I'm needed somewhere, and that I'm actually doing something useful with my life, and that I'm GOOD at it too. I also want enough money from my job to be able to live comfortably - not talking about a posh house, just a nice, cozy place with a roof that doesn't leak, decent carpet, and with a contract allowing dogs. Being able to afford real food on a regular basis (ie non-ramen) and have time outside of work to pursue flute and other hobbies would be ideal. I've never done anything like this before, and honestly, it scares me. I don't know what's going to happen.

I think I feel better now. All right, time for Latin.