Quick Update: Of course, as soon as I write that I'm not doing so well on flute, I have the best practice in days - a good 1.5 hours' worth. Perhaps all I needed was a little perspective. And perhaps I'm going a little overboard, being so concerned about staying in orchestra. Didn't quite realize this until an IM a couple days ago: "Dude--botch the audition? You're kidding, right?"
Thanks for the vote of confidence... I guess I should have more faith in myself, quit blowing things out of proportion and imagining the worst that could happen. Something else to work on, I suppose. Perhaps the shift of focus from "must do well" back to "just enjoy" was what improved the playing tonight...
It's strange, though, that I can't imagine not being in orchestra-or at the very least, not performing on flute in chamber music. After all, music (along with a few other things) has kept me sane over the past two years here - sure, it's been kinda stressful on occasion and time-consuming (ah, the carmina burana rehearsals freshman year), but it's kept me going when life looked bleak, and given me hope in trying times. Sometimes I wonder if I would've lasted freshman year without it.

Ok, now it's really time for sleep. Night all.