It's funny, but all I really want to do these days is create and be artistic. First it was sewing with the cloak and the short-lived TACIT help; recently I got hooked on painting miniatures - I'd done flat-surface and wooden pieces before, but these are awesome. There's so much more detail, plus the different techniques you can use to render cloth vs metal vs skin... I've sunk so much time into it already, on just two figures. (But hey, they're almost done!) Hopefully I'll prime a few more in the next couple days so I have new painting fodder.

Unfortunately, I think I'm getting severely burnt out on orchestra. I hate going way too fast on pieces when it's clear we need to take it slow and see how the different pieces interlock to form the big picture. It goes against EVERYTHING all my teachers ever taught me. If we keep rushing through the whole damn thing, how are we supposed to understand how the piece works together!? Bloody irritating. And Allen... I don't know, it just seems like he's not quite the same. None of us are, I guess, but perhaps it's just him getting older and more irascible. -sigh-

I hate feeling like crap after an orchesra rehearsal, but that's what's been happening recently. It would help if I'd actually practiced beforehand, but I'm still doing ok, and better than some others. I don't play music to feel frustrated; I play it for enjoyment. I was almost feeling that way during this last chamber group - I knew we were capable of more, but we could never get everyone together on the same page, and it seemed like almost no one else really wanted to push to achieve. All right, so I'm competitive. So I want to live up to what I can do. Is that wrong? I don't think so. Hopefully my next group won't think so, either. With luck, we'll be able to get a number of good pieces under our belts and keep the group together for summer gigs, too... that's the hope, anyway. I have Jesse, now if only Robert comes back on bassoon I think we'll be golden.