Random thoughts:

I try so hard to be a good, kind person, but so often it just seems like it doesn't work and I feel like a worthless, weak pushover. Is that really how I come across? How can I change this without becoming one of those irritatingly vexatious people that I've met in life?

Following that... I wish I had some consolation that others were trying to be kind and compassionate too. It's hard to believe sometimes, and more difficult to hold to what I believe to be right if no one else is bothering to be considerate. I know I fail sometimes, but some days I feel like I end up taking the brunt of many people's bad moods, and it feels very unfair. Again, the pushover state. How far should I let this kind of thing go before I snap back and don't put up with it anymore?

Need an apartment for next year...

Need a job for this summer...

Want out of here, but at the same time, I want to stay. Odd but true. I feel safe and happy here, and I don't want to leave those feelings for uncertainty. On the flip side, I don't want to stagnate.

Must do German now.