Today has been awesome.

9:30 - Occidental for flute lesson with Gary Woodward. Broached the idea of the concerto competition... "How long have you been playing this piece?" "Um... since right before I had my wisdom teeth out, about 3 weeks total playing time" -hesitant pause- "We'll see.." Performed (with a fair number of glitches) the first movement of Mozart's Concerto in G Major. "Wow.. this piece is really coming along. A bunch of things I'd usually have to pound into students over and over again to get right, you're doing naturally -and beautifully - I'd like to bring up a few dilemmas and give you a few ideas to digest and work on, but I think the concerto competition is definitely a possible" -grinning from ear to ear-
For all you who didn't know, here are Woodward's 5 keys to Mozart:
1) Rhythm (it's like a pocketwatch ticking - you shouldn't notice it right off, but it should be there keeping you steady. Subdivide, subdivide, subdivide, but it shouldn't feel imposed from the outside, making the melody ponderous - it should come from within)
2) Repeats should be more insistent (Mozart's own words in his diary), not echoes like in Baroque music
3) Phrase endings of 2 notes should have a stress and release 'sighing' quality
4) Dynamics are all yours - just don't let them be static
5) Ornamentation - not Baroque style, not Romantic style. somewhere in between... make them original

And always think of balancing depth and lightness. "There's something in Mozart about humanity, about touching God... but there's such an ease to it. It's not laborious, like Beethoven - it should be light and elegant. But it shouldn't be so light that it loses the depth of emotion." Yaay balance.

Yup, I can already tell this'll be fun. It's been so long since I've gotten to know a piece intimately - taking it apart to see how it works, playing with the dynamics and phrasing, creating words and images to the song, and finally remaking it into something that's at once the composer's and yet mine, something intensely personal. This is why I study music - self-discovery and expression. Writing is the only other discipline that even comes close, and even that's quite a ways off. I don't think I'm explaining it very well, but I think the musicians understand me... hopefully the non-musicians do too (and boy, are you missing out ;).

Finished genetics set over lunch/beginning of class, went to genetics class and then history of CA. Talked to Deverell after class about the junior history tutorial idea: "I don't know - I'm already working with one student who's taking a 3 term junior history tutorial this year. What's involved in it, research and a paper?" "Um.. yes, I believe so" "Hmmm..." -another student asks a question, Deverell answers, student leaves- "Hm. What are you interested in again?" "Um... I'd like to focus on Native American societies, mainly hunter/gatherer societies, perhaps early agricultural ones as well" "Ok, I'll do it." -shock at quick turnaround and snap decision- "Are you sure? I don't want to overload you..." "Yes, absolutely." "Ok... thanks!"

I have no idea what changed his mind... kinda odd, but I'm pretty happy that I'll get to stick around him for the rest of the year. He's a great lecturer, and it'll be fun. And I get to take a closer look at something I'm really curious about, which is always a plus. :) Hooray!

Called my little sister on the way to orchestra (Happy Birthday, Kat! :) to wish her a happy birthday. I wish I could've talked longer... but I promise I will this weekend, kiddo. ;) At least I called!

Orchestra - that practice on the solos and other passages paid off - only a few glitches, and most of it sounded just fine. Don't think it was worth compliments, 'cause I've still got a ways to go on phrasing and dynamics to get it really good and make it sound easy, but I'm flattered. I love playing in the orchestra... it's so much fun, and it's done wonders for my musicianship. :)

Beyond just today...

The state of my mind (instead of the union): my world is warm and bright again. I dream again (the occasionaly not-so-pleasant one, but generally fine)... I ride once a week, something I've always wanted to do, I'm excelling at it and progressing towards my goal of jumping... I'm better than ever on flute: more confident, more "presence" (Allen's word, not mine), more technical skill, and more emotion... I'm emotionally stable again, which means I can help people again by lending a listening ear without absorbing those emotions and feeling awful afterwards (and I've done more in the past week than I ever did last year as a UCC)... I'm taking two really great history courses, I'm relaxed (most of the time) and I have an idea of where I'm going in life that I'm happy with. I don't think being on my own is a problem, or makes my world any less rich and lively. As Mom said a couple days ago, I finally sound like myself again... and that's a relief.

To close: I got a letter from my fifth grade math teacher the other day - I'd completely forgotten about this, but one day she lead us into the library and pointed out the newly-painted words above the human-sized mousehole: "Think, Imagine, Dream". Our assignment was to write our future selves a letter telling them what we thought they should be 10 years from then...
According to the 10-year-old Kirsten, by now I should have been a famous doctor, having found the cure for AIDS, and own 2-3 horses. Apparently, I'm not only off course, I'm a little behind schedule. ;) It's funny how you gauge time differently when you're younger... 10 years seemed like such a long time back then, but looking back it seems faster than an eyeblink.

Aight, that's enough talking - I've got sleeping to do. Night all.