From Friday:
It's amazing how sometimes you hear the perfect song to lift your spirits. I woke up around 10 feeling kinda blah... some days, you just don't feel so great about everything. Especially when you haven't had much practice time recently and your lesson's in an hour. And when very little seems to be going your way lately. I finally rolled out of bed around 10:25 after thinking about various things I hadn't gotten around to yet - mainly midterms, also flute practice, got to my truck around 10:40 (didn't have to move mike's car for once either :). I started the car, and immediately this song begins on the radio:
Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).

Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what their bitter hearts are gonna say.

It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine, everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
-In the Middle, Jimmy Eat World

It was exactly what I needed to hear: reassurance that things will eventually work out, and that life will get better if I just hang on. I can't believe how much my mood improved just from hearing that song.
As it turned out, the flute lesson went pretty well - I'm becoming addicted to flute and riding lessons, because those are the only two times in a week that I feel that I'm consistently successful. Flute's nice because Woodward thinks I've got natural talent - even said that I have more than some flute majors he sees coming through Oxy. It's funny for me to hear that, because for the first several years of band, I don't think my directors thought I'd amount to anything. It's mainly thanks to Helen Blackburn, my incredible flute teacher for junior and senior year, that I've gotten this far. I didn't really begin to develop my tone or musicality until I studied with her, and I still practice the exercises she found for me. I know perfectly well I'm not good enough to try to make a living of it (a great perspective, as Woodward says, because there're so very many flute majors out there it's difficult to get a job even if you're really good), but it's enjoyable and relaxing, and therefore worth the time and effort in my opinion - it may not be preparing me for a career, but it's worth a whole lot as far as happiness is concerned. And ever since last year, I've come to the realization that life isn't worth living unless there's quality to it: happiness, vibrancy, relaxation, all the little things that balance out the ugly times and the hard knocks that chance will deal out. A few hundreths of a point of my GPA is not worth my mental well-being. So I don't have a 4.0 - this won't kill me (though a 3.5 sure would be nice). On the other hand, taking 30+ units of biology in a 50+ unit term without any fun activities or downtime just might. I've realized that I have to know my limits, to have some kind of balance, to keep from going off the deep end and burning out before my four years is up... and I think that in itself might be worth the hell I went through last year. Here's to learning in all aspects of life, and pursuit of one of the most important goals in my life: know thyself.

From today:
Thanks for all your mnemonic teachings, Mom - I finally put 'em to good use in a biochem class. :) I think I've got all 20 amino acids down now, after just 2 hours of study. Also worked out the schedule for midterms for the next several days (so don't expect to hear from me for a while):
Sunday
10-11 revise core 1a intro, send to mentor (should've done this saturday... grr)
11-3 study bi/ch 110
3-6 take bi/ch 110 (prolly in SFL)
6-7 dinner and call parents
7-10 orchestra winds rehearsal
10-12 begin h 142 reading for exam

Monday
10-12 h 142 reading and start h 142 essays
12-1 bi 80
1-6 h 142 essays
6-7 dinner
7-12 h 142 essays, begin h 161 reading for essay exam
12-1 flute

Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday
Finish up 142 essay exam and keep working on 161 essays in spare time. maybe take a little time off here and there so I don't lose my mind

Due dates for exams:
110 - Tuesday at 11 AM
142 - Thursday at 2:30 PM
161 - Friday at 1 PM
122 - ??? no idea, as it's not even out yet. It had better NOT be due before next weekend, though, or I'll really be screwed.

Anyway, take care, and see you guys at the end of the week. Night all.